I was neglectful in not addressing this issue around Mother’s Day, so as I’ve addressed the male part, let me be fair and impartial and do so.
As a woman, former wife and a single parent, I take great offense at the way some females attend to their roles as wife and mother. I remember watching Oprah a couple of years ago addressing an issue with suburban mothers being addicted to alcohol or drugs. They all said the “stress” of being a homemaker and trying to be perfect led them down the dark path. Are you kidding me? I have four wonderful but not perfect children, have been abandoned and homeless not once but twice and I have never sought comfort from either alcohol or drugs, not saying that the thought never crossed my mind but I have children, what’s more important than them? Can one be so selfish and wrapped up in one’s self that one neglects the very ones who depend on you? My reaction was “you’re living in a house with a husband who works and apparently supports you being home”, are you kidding me? Try my life for a week, then you'll really find out about stress.
Then there are the females who take it way tooooo far. On another Oprah episode, the discussion was addressing “the needs of the children vs. the needs of the husband”, where many females stated how the children came first. Again, are you kidding me? The purpose of the titles, wife and mother, is to designate the difference in the roles. When I was married, there was time for and with the children, then there was time for and with the husband, it’s not that hard and if it is, something’s wrong. When my second child was born, I was a homemaker and while hubby was at work, I took care of the little one and his older sister, who was in elementary school. When hubby came home, we ate dinner together as a family, we had a little family time then bedtime for the kids and hubby had his time. Maybe I did something wrong or wired differently but there was never a conflict for me as a wife and mother of who I gave my attention to and when, even when I started working or volunteering and even being a Girl Scout Cookie Mom. Life is not supposed to be so taxing and if it is, again something’s wrong. Your children are not for you to live your life through. They belong to GOD and like library books, are on loan to you to nurture, love and guide until they become adults and live their lives. Do remember that part of the wedding vow, “forsaking all others”. Not to say one is to neglect their children but you took a vow, made a vow before GOD and man with the man you married, there’s a reason for that. Children are an extension of that love and commitment to each other not an excuse for you to turn your back on your husband. But do remember this, what you're not willing to give him at home, someone will give it outside of home. No matter the race, ethnicity or economics and sounding a little old-fashioned, I always thought being a wife and mother was wonderful. I never denied my children their due and by no means did I deny my husband. It is do-able, one has to not only love but live the joy that comes with it. Nothing is perfect, life definitely isn’t, but don’t find asinine reasons to contribute to making everyone’s life, including yours, miserable.
Last but not least, being one myself, I must address single mothers. At this point, I am shaking my head. There’s just not enough room to address this but I will attempt to, nonetheless. Many single moms, like me, aren’t in our situation as a choice, no one wants to be alone but some single moms have just gone beyond moronic mode to address the loneliness. Many are allowing low-life males not only into their lives but the lives of their children thus endangering their children but they don’t care, it’s all about their needs. WAKE UP!! How many of you have had the law knocking down your door because that male that shares your bed but don’t really help with the kids or the bills, is into something illegal? How many of you are dealing with males who have no job and still living at home with mom? Can I say one more time, are you kidding me? How many of you, like the movie “Precious” allows a male who’s molesting your child to live with you and then turn around and blame the child? As I formerly stated, there’s not enough room to address this but many of you have issues and shouldn’t have children and I’m sorry to issue that statement but it’s true. Many of you had children to try and trap a man, HELLO, it doesn’t work; and then you turn around and take it out on the children. Your children come first, not you and definitely not the males. The children didn’t ask to be here, so grow up and be responsible. Another issue is the fact that there are some men who want to be a part of their children’s’ lives but you want to be a smear on motherhood and give him a hard time. If he doesn’t do things the way you want him to, you use the children as tools of power that you love to wield. Females like you should be used as poster children for men to proceed with extreme caution as to who they sleep with and for using protection.
A woman is an adult female, that title doesn’t make one a lady nor does it make a mother a mom.
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