Calling Out the Females

I was neglectful in not addressing this issue around Mother’s Day, so as I’ve addressed the male part, let me be fair and impartial and do so.

As a woman, former wife and a single parent, I take great offense at the way some females attend to their roles as wife and mother. I remember watching Oprah a couple of years ago addressing an issue with suburban mothers being addicted to alcohol or drugs. They all said the “stress” of being a homemaker and trying to be perfect led them down the dark path. Are you kidding me? I have four wonderful but not perfect children, have been abandoned and homeless not once but twice and I have never sought comfort from either alcohol or drugs, not saying that the thought never crossed my mind but I have children, what’s more important than them? Can one be so selfish and wrapped up in one’s self that one neglects the very ones who depend on you? My reaction was “you’re living in a house with a husband who works and apparently supports you being home”, are you kidding me? Try my life for a week, then you'll really find out about stress.

Then there are the females who take it way tooooo far. On another Oprah episode, the discussion was addressing “the needs of the children vs. the needs of the husband”, where many females stated how the children came first. Again, are you kidding me? The purpose of the titles, wife and mother, is to designate the difference in the roles. When I was married, there was time for and with the children, then there was time for and with the husband, it’s not that hard and if it is, something’s wrong. When my second child was born, I was a homemaker and while hubby was at work, I took care of the little one and his older sister, who was in elementary school. When hubby came home, we ate dinner together as a family, we had a little family time then bedtime for the kids and hubby had his time. Maybe I did something wrong or wired differently but there was never a conflict for me as a wife and mother of who I gave my attention to and when, even when I started working or volunteering and even being a Girl Scout Cookie Mom. Life is not supposed to be so taxing and if it is, again something’s wrong. Your children are not for you to live your life through. They belong to GOD and like library books, are on loan to you to nurture, love and guide until they become adults and live their lives. Do remember that part of the wedding vow, “forsaking all others”. Not to say one is to neglect their children but you took a vow, made a vow before GOD and man with the man you married, there’s a reason for that. Children are an extension of that love and commitment to each other not an excuse for you to turn your back on your husband. But do remember this, what you're not willing to give him at home, someone will give it outside of home. No matter the race, ethnicity or economics and sounding a little old-fashioned, I always thought being a wife and mother was wonderful. I never denied my children their due and by no means did I deny my husband. It is do-able, one has to not only love but live the joy that comes with it. Nothing is perfect, life definitely isn’t, but don’t find asinine reasons to contribute to making everyone’s life, including yours, miserable.

Last but not least, being one myself, I must address single mothers. At this point, I am shaking my head. There’s just not enough room to address this but I will attempt to, nonetheless. Many single moms, like me, aren’t in our situation as a choice, no one wants to be alone but some single moms have just gone beyond moronic mode to address the loneliness. Many are allowing low-life males not only into their lives but the lives of their children thus endangering their children but they don’t care, it’s all about their needs. WAKE UP!! How many of you have had the law knocking down your door because that male that shares your bed but don’t really help with the kids or the bills, is into something illegal? How many of you are dealing with males who have no job and still living at home with mom? Can I say one more time, are you kidding me? How many of you, like the movie “Precious” allows a male who’s molesting your child to live with you and then turn around and blame the child? As I formerly stated, there’s not enough room to address this but many of you have issues and shouldn’t have children and I’m sorry to issue that statement but it’s true. Many of you had children to try and trap a man, HELLO, it doesn’t work; and then you turn around and take it out on the children. Your children come first, not you and definitely not the males. The children didn’t ask to be here, so grow up and be responsible. Another issue is the fact that there are some men who want to be a part of their children’s’ lives but you want to be a smear on motherhood and give him a hard time. If he doesn’t do things the way you want him to, you use the children as tools of power that you love to wield. Females like you should be used as poster children for men to proceed with extreme caution as to who they sleep with and for using protection.

A woman is an adult female, that title doesn’t make one a lady nor does it make a mother a mom.

Calling Out African-American Males

You know, not many positive change has resulted from the “historic” Million Man March which occurred on October 16^th 1995 and the fact that “Father’s Day” is rapidly approaching and as a single mother, I would like to address this issue.

I’d like to start with the person who formulated that auspicious occasion, Minister Louis Farrakhan and his organization, The Nation of Islam. Two years ago I attempted to reach out to both so that they could come to South Arlington and fight for the many young African-American males in my community who seem to have been neglected by parents who aren’t fighting enough for their children, a school and county system who would rather put money elsewhere than into making them into positive, contributing members of society and the three churches in the community who choose to have their outreach within their congregations instead of outside in the community. Given the fact that no one and I mean NO ONE responded, is it any wonder that the participants of that day have not honored children, family and community? Hey, Jesse Jackson and The Rainbow Coalition wasn't any different, I got the same results. ZERO, ZILCH, NADA, NOTHING.

I find it interesting that many who attended are members of established churches or organizations allegedly created to be community programs. When I signed my son up for the Big Brother Program, I learned that there was a waiting list for African-American males. As race is not an issue for me on the personal front, it is sometimes when addressing political issues, his Big Brother was a Caucasian male, who was always there for my son. Even though his family has grown and career advancements, he’s still a part of our lives; always there when we need him and I consider him a part of my family. While he and my son’s co-creator are both in law enforcement, only one do I respect. The co-creator has been given opportunities to participate in this young man’s life but he chooses to be absent. Unfortunately, this is a situation that plagues this nation and the million of children, mostly African-American, with often grave consequences to the children, their lives and definetly, to society. I find it quite interesting also that African-Americans make derogatory remarks about Hispanics yet you’ll often see more Hispanic males out with their children than African-American males. My mother used to say, “kettle can’t cuss pot” which basically means one male does not have the right to disrespect another especially when he’s not being the “man” he should be for his children.

I actually have four children, married to the co-creator of two, yet these males dropped the ball like hot potatoes. There’s no excuse for that, on any level. Even if the female is less than mature in their behavior, and we know there’s many of them out there, it’s not about them, it’s about the children. I’ve long held to the notion that having a baby does not a man make. When both of my sons were younger, they had male organs, did that make them men? Gay males have the same organs but do heterosexual males see them as being equal? The bottom line is any male of reproductive age can donate a sperm but how many can actually be “men” and take responsibility for the life they co-created? In the tutoring program in which my son participates, only Caucasian males give their time and effort. Now I do realize that there are, in cities across this nation, African-American males stepping up to the plate but it isn’t enough. In Black men neglecting their children, signalling that these children are not very important, society has picked up the same notion, that’s why monies are not poured into urban communities or primarily Black schools. Know that there is NO excuses in GOD’s sight, none. The male is supposed to be provider and protector of the children, that’s why babies usually call out “dada” first, it’s how FATHER set things up but that’s not to negate the fact that “it takes a village to raise a child”. Christians have been told to “do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed.”[1] Christians have been cautioned, “Woe to those who decree unrighteous decrees, who write misfortune, which they have prescribed. To rob the needy of justice and to take what is right from the poor of MY people, that widows may be their prey and that they rob the fatherless”.[2] Nine times out of the ten, the fatherless are the oppressed, they are the poor but no one can change the fact that an edict was appointed to fathers and it is, “And you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”[3] Remember, sire is the term used for animals, father is the term used for humans, but they mean the same thing. So, fathering doesn’t make one either a man or a daddy.

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[1] Psalm 10:18 &Psalm 82:2-4

[2] Isaiah 10:1-2

[3] Ephesians 6:4 & Colossians 3:21

SHUT UP Already

You know, I’ve had about enough of the whining and bellyaching of citizens who should know better. I’ve had about enough of the liars perpetrating to be “journalists” when all they’re only pompous blowhards. I’ve had it with mainstream media who don’t seem to have a handle on what the news actually is by giving way to stories about non-politicians’ personal lives. I don’t even want to know the personal lives of any politician as they were elected to do a particular job not be a surrogate parent, spouse or sibling to any of us; neither are they obligated to be the source of any moral or religious compass, that responsibility falls on the parent(s).

The loss of any life is detrimental to the lives of the loved ones left behind and society, as we’ve lost a member of the human race. The explosion on the oil rig and the oil spill that ensued does not fall on President Obama, it falls on the many people who benefit from having a relationship with the oil business, mostly GOP politicians and more specifically, the former Bush administration and its’ cronies. Where were these “righteously indignated” citizens when their beloved Bush and Cheney were making deals with big oil? Trust me when I state that I use the term “righteously indignated” loosely and sarcastically. Where were these “righteously indignated” citizens when the poor of Katrina were dying and starving? Where were these “righteously indignated” citizens when Bush was creating a budget deficit so large it will probably take another century to climb out of or putting us in debt to China? Where were these “righteously indignated” citizens when the former administration was protecting the banks and big business? I’ll tell you where they were, they were busy enjoying the spoils that came along with supporting duplicitous politicians under the guise of “moral and patriotic values”. If the devil is moral, then yeah, they deserve what they get, unfortunately the rest of us must suffer along with these less than intelligent citizens blinded by words but not looking at the actions behind the words. Maybe I’m being a little unfair in making that statement but there are people struggling to live decently everyday but it is struggle, it’s a quagmire of so many things yet the “righteously indignated” citizens don’t see that, they don’t care. The only time they care is when it hits home like the flooding in Opryland. Now they want to complain and place the blame of everything wrong on President Obama. He is a human being with flaws as the rest of us, yet he has an earnest desire to try and right the wrongs committed against the citizens of this nation by the greed of the former administration. Unfortunately, the “righteously indignated” don’t see that, they don’t see that as bad as things may be for them at the moment, they still don’t have it as bad as those who are homeless, those who struggle to survive and provide on minimum wage.

The interesting thing is that the majority, if not all, of these “righteously indignated” citizens will call themselves “Christians” and faithfully attend church. I don’t know about their churches but I do know that the Bible does not reflect any of their attitudes. We are told “we then who are strong ought to bear with the scruples of the weak and not to please ourselves.”[1] In the eyes of GOD and He Who started “Christianity”, it’s not about what one has, it comes down to how we treat one another. Many of these “righteously indignated” citizens will be quite surprised on that final day because they show favoritism to whom they choose but “in truth, I perceive that GOD shows no partiality.”[2]

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[1] Roman 15:1

[2] Acts 10:14 & Romans 2:11